The Greatest Adventure
By Dr. William K. Larkin on June 4, 2012
We encourage you here to develop a 3:1 ratio everyday in your life. That means to create your life in such a way that you have 3 positives to every negative. Your life, lived in that ratio, will cause you to thrive and flourish. You feel better in the day that you do it, but it is also cumulative, adding up overtime and producing a mindset that has a syngery to it. If you have practiced this you know that by now. And we know from the feedback that many of you have.
Consider increasing that ratio to 4:1 or 5:1. We see these higher levels of flourishing in people with a passion. What is your passion? What is your vision for your life? How are you making meaning in your life? Meaning-making is at the crux of a sense of personal significance (the real source of self-esteem) and at the heart of flourishing and thriving. We are doing meaning-making every day of our lives in every season of our lives.
Meaning-making is the context of our lives, whether or not we know what that meaning is or isn’t. It is entirely possible that we have decided that there isn’t much meaning to our lives and not even really be in touch with that decision. Rather we go through the motions of reacting to what is around us, rather than what is within us. There is a way we are explaining our lives and what is happening to us, a way we are understanding that can represent our meaning-making in an automatic, non-intentional way. As a result we live on automatic, from day-to-day.
Meaning-making has stages and transitions because the structure of our brain changes over our life time. We make meaning in new, different and exciting ways. There are also the transitions between these stages where it can seem like everything is falling apart and doesn’t make sense. That isn’t a requirement but it happens. Whenever we start to know ourselves differently, we begin to know others differently as well. That’s called “self-other differentiation,” and the more clearly you know yourself, the more clearly you will see others. This usually means a change in the nature of relationships. In others words, there are people you attach to and there are those you leave behind.
One of the clearest ways to get to your meaning-making is to clarify goals, malleable goals that can change as you change. Let those goals point the direction to meaning-making. If they are goals that accurately reflect what you really want, they will point the way to meaning-making. Even if they are inaccurate or vague goals, they still point the way by creating contrast. You can feel whether they moving you in the right direction over time. These are all the issues integral to good coaching.
How do you do meaning-making? You make the conscious decision to do more of what you love. If you can’t find what you love or you don’t’ know, then you make the conscious decision to go on the most wonderful adventure of your life and find it.
At the crux of the issue of meaning-making is your sense of personal significance. It is defined by your meaning-making schema. A sense of personal significance keeps you breathing and living and connected to the sense of belonging to life, to self, and to others.
CONTINUING EDUCATION FOR COACHES
1) Comment on the following excerpt from this blog in light of your own experience, your experience with clients or your UpSpiraLife Group.
“Whenever we start to know ourselves differently, we begin to know others differently as well. That’s called “self-other differentiation,” and the more clearly you know yourself, the more clearly you will see others. This usually means a change in the nature of relationships. In others words, there are people you attach to and there are those you leave behind.”
FOR OUR LARGER BLOG COMMUNITY
1) How do you define your “meaning-making” system? What is the source of your sense of personal meaning and significance? Give us some examples and tell us your story.
2) As a result of engaging with our work at ANI, how have your relationships changed? What new relationships have been attracted? Which have fallen away? Tell us how your work in growing a more neuropositive mind has effected these changes.
chivalry57 wrote on Fri Jun 8th, 6:16am:
Three years ago when I became a part my UpSpiral group, I wrote in my book
“My Mind Meaning Making Meetings”. That was the name I gave my group.
I realized that I am the one who needs to make a daily conscience decision to be in control on which side the emotional scale I want to lean and increase the weight of my “thoughts” on. Having and building on my sense of “personal purpose of significance” has come from the tools of ANI.
I now have my 5 Five Years Goals that I read everyday, knowing and feeling
that they are coming closer to happening…my reality.
From time to time when the opportunity arises and is appropriate, I find
myself asking a family member or friend “What kind of meetings do you have
in your mind?”...knowing I will not allow myself to be pulled away from my
goals and personal significance…OH YEAH!!
livestrong81 wrote on Sun Jun 10th, 8:19pm:
We can only see others as clearly as we see ourselves. That is why it is so important to continue to develop and grow ourselves as coaches as we teach, inspire, encourage, and train others to live their most inspired lives.
I believe that there is a big difference between learning and growing. Anyone can learn a task or learn to solve problems, but it takes interacting with the problem and solution and allowing it to change you for growth to take place. When we do this, we invite awareness into our consciousness that wouldn’t have been allowed otherwise.
When we see ourselves authentically from a place of positive clarity and inspiration, we will tend to see others in similar ways as well. By allowing true growth to take place in any relationship, we subconsciously enter into a sort of packed with that person to “give and take” and to allow the relationship to blossom. If one person is growing and the other is not, lack of connection will suddenly form and the bond they once shared won’t seem as strong.
We know that quantum physics states that like energy attracts like energy. So with this, it is fair to say that opposing energy repels opposing energy. It is no different with relationships. As we change our frequency on a molecular level, we are attracting or repelling experiences as well as people, so as we change, we will be attracting different types of people depending upon our frequency level.
We must be mindful of our emotions, beliefs and surroundings in order to see ourselves differently, and to therefore, make an impact with others. We cannot expect anyone to do anything that we have not already done ourselves. As teachers or trainers, we must become the best students.
I love this quote, “You teach best what you most need to learn.” –Richard Bach
Steve D wrote on Sun Jun 10th, 11:10pm:
Through healing of past life traumatic experiences and addiction, I am inspired to share my gift of healing with others. I not only see myself differently but my past life experiences as I hold the “negative events” in a positive way through the gifts they have brought forth.
There has been a “mind shift” in which the awareness of my spiritual self has manifested, and I know with certainty that I am complete and whole, with a healed and open heart.
I hold life differently, lighter with a spirit of play and openness to others and the universe. Some of the companions and friends of the past are still with me on my life journey but I find that I am attracted to and am attracting people in my life that are grounded in healing and are filled with “positive energy”, anchored and enriched in their personal well-being.
I am grateful for the healing in my life and find I am passionate about the future and inspired to take action to create a future filled with a deeper sense of gratitude, love, peace, joy, hope, and child-like innocence.
RachelsWell wrote on Mon Jun 11th, 10:19am:
Since learning about the UpSpiral (once you really learn about it, you can’t unlearn it). building positive emotions in the emotional gym, and reading the research and theories from the most welcome field of positive psychology, I’m quickly becoming much clearer in and about myself, about others and about the world I want to help create. This clarity is a blessed relief, and reminds me of a younger more natural me.
There’s a sense of freedom that comes from living in the UpSpiral which brings this welcome clarity. I’m clearer about myself and others, and because I’m paying attention, I get almost immediate feedback from the environment.
Evie writes in her blog post: “As we change our frequency on a molecular level, we are attracting or repelling experiences as well as people, so as we change, we will be attracting different types of people depending upon our frequency level.” Just this past week, I had at least a half dozen positive and authentic encounters with people I’ve just met, including an unplanned almost improbable one with an artist who might be interested in illustrating the book I’m writing. At the same time, an older relationship based on DownSpiral emotional entanglements has quietly fallen away without my saying anything.
I can see that who and how I am in the UpSpiral is different from who and how I am in the DownSpiral. When I no longer identify with who I am in the DownSpiral (who isn’t even the “real” me), my DownSpiral friends retreat or fall away. I’m much more present in the moment, open to the adventure and looking forward to learning more.
Suzanne wrote on Wed Jun 13th, 8:01am:
Since working with the tools from ANI and being in an UpSpiral group for two years, I have seen a vast improvement in my awareness of relationships and how they affect me and I DO know myself differently now.
Two of my top strengths are empathy and connectedness. With these as support, I have been able to release most judgement, criticism and comparison. These negative attitudes, which would have put me in a Downspiral, have gracefully been replaced with compassion and a stronger neuropositive mind.
I now thrive and flourish because I practice what I preach. I would say that my ratio is close to 5:1, with a clear sense of my passion and vision for my life. Yahoo!
I will add this to my morning ritual: “Today I make a conscious decision to do more of what I love.”
~ Thank you ~
Mary Garvey Horst wrote on Mon Jun 18th, 3:26pm:
#1. Comment on the following excerpt from this blog in light of your own experience, your experience with clients or your UpSpiraLife group.
“Whenever we start to know ourselves differently, we begin to know others differently as well. That’s called “self-other differentiation,” and the more clearly you know yourself, the more clearly you will see others. This usually means a change in the nature of relationships. In other words, there are people you attach to and there are those you leave behind.”
I reflect back on the individuals that I have met through ANI both in my initial certification and licensure training, those who participated in an UpSpiraLife group with my husband and me both in person and on a bridge line call, the recent members of the USL training group, and my coaching clients. In addition, I can see the changes within myself over the course of the past few years where I have been growing in my UpSpiral and drawing upon the many tools offered to me through ANI.
I see that there are those who are initially drawn to the work with the hope of growing a more positive mind. Some go, some stick with it, and some incorporate the principles into their daily lives and live out the 12 promises of the well-lived life. At the core, it is a very personal choice.
I have learned that what others choose to do with the information and tools learned from ANI is not my concern. I have learned that what is essential to my own growth and happiness is my personal commitment and application of neuropositivity in my life. When I consistently apply the 3:1 ratio or the 5:1 ratio (or higher), I experience greater levels of peace, love, gratitude, joy and hope in my life. It is from this energetic vibration that I attract others to me and a new point of attraction is then established. In actuality, there are friends and acquaintances who do fall away. For me, the “self-other differentiation” has been mutually effective. I have become more in alignment with my true and authentic self, rather than trying to hold tight to those who have made a different choice than I have. We are free to pursue our individual flavor of meaning-making.
palmspringsesq wrote on Sat Jun 23rd, 11:38am:
Since becoming involved with ANI and doing my work with the emotional gym, I have certainly seem to have benefited from it. My work relationships have become more positive and not as adversarial. I see this in my personal life as well. I believe it is due to the leaning of my mind toward the positive and the obvious cumulative positive effect this has had in my thoughts and feelings.
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